I remember when it all sounded like nonsense and desperate to me and how trying to convince me otherwise was pointless. I remember that I argued against Christ and the Bible having never read it and knowing very little about the historical context in which it was written and He lived. I also remember how my life was (and sadly wasn’t) before I came to know him on a personal level.

I remember that the difference for me was in watching those whose testified on behalf of Him not with words, but with the enviable way that they lived their lives; the quiet calm and confidence of those who know the truth. When I finally read the truth, it hit me as the truth about anything hits anybody – it was undeniable. It didn’t matter what intellectual ideas and objections I thought I had, the truth is the truth. I could no more deny it than I could deny that the water is wet and ice is cold; it is… well, what it is.

As I grew in my faith and research into Christ I also began to realize what the problem facing me was and is to those still in my former position – it is a potent mixture of ignorance, misinterpretation, half-truths, and most importantly poor, POOR representation by many that wore the badge “Christian.”

Ignorance, not the derogatory use of the word like calling someone stupid or an idiot but simply not knowing, really knowing, what I was talking about. How could I argue against what Christ said having never read His words and putting them into the context of His world at the time?

Misinterpretations take place in the form on trying to literally reconcile the Old Testament, which to most intellectuals becomes foolish upon attempt i.e. “You really assert that the Earth is 6000 years old?!” or condemning homosexuality while preaching love despite the fact that the Greek word that was used spoke of pederasts who were abusing young boys, not consensual, loving relationships between the same sex. Dolphins, considered to be much, much smarter than we, have homosexual sex all the time. Does that mean that God condemns them? Hardly…

Half-truths. This is a tricky one because it is so elusive. If you tell 98% the truth, it makes it very easy to slip in 2% lie because you have established credibility with the amount of truth you displayed. So say that the prophets predictions were verified by the life of Christ and they were done so beyond question, which they were, well then the writers of the OT, all human men prone to sin and error, could and I believe did, slip in personal, religious and nationalistic agendas and many would take them as legit because everything else had been true. Then you have people believing passionately in things that don’t add up, regardless of how little sense it make. For example, God loves the people of Israel above all others and God hates homosexuality. The list goes on.

The reason that half truths are so dangerous is because to the person who is told to believe “all or nothing,” the half truths discredit everything – working exactly opposite to those that believe unquestionably. So while Dawkins or others poke holes in the obvious places in the OT and even in places of the New Testament, it cements the idea that “it’s ALL rubbish” in their minds – regardless of whether 98% is spot on.

The last and most harmful is the hypocrisy of the most vocal Christians. I don’t have to explain that much because we all know and see it. Christians kill in the name of God, judge when they are told not to and condemn even though we don’t have that right. To the onlooker/non-believer it is comical, sad and even angering; I know, I was there for a long time.

So what I do know is that because of the grace of some amazing Christians and from the example that Christ actually set through his life and death, I caught a glimpse of God’s unconditional love for me and us all. Unconditional is the key and Christ knew to show us that through his actions. God doesn’t only show us his plans, ideas and love through the Bible or through Christ’s life… he shows us in many other teachable ways. Parents know this very well. Once you become a parent you realize that no matter what your kid does, even to the point of wanting nothing to do with you, EVER, your love doesn’t fade or fail. My love for my kids is as vast and unending as the universe that we are a part of.

And I am just a sin-filled, broken man.

Imagine the endless capacity for love that God has for us. He’s eternal, infinite and surely beyond labels and boundaries. We call him “He” because we have to put a face on Him, but He is bigger than we can’t imagine.

So regardless of whether you believe in Him, love Him, or even care to discuss Him, He loves and always will love you. Unconditionally. Jew, Muslim, Christian, Atheist, murderer, adulterer and yes, even Mormons

IMHO.

Yeah, uh. Weird.

Speaking of dinosaurs, it feels good to feel good again, although somewhat confused.

As Batman continuously assaulted him the Joker didn’t fight back, didn’t cry, didn’t hide. Instead, he laughed hysterically.

“You have nothing. Nothing to threaten me with. Nothing to do with all your strength.”

The power of Ledger’s acting, while giving amazing credibility to the character, actually caused the viewer to miss the potency of that concept; “You have nothing to threaten me with.”

The Joker, in his need for no thing, was the most powerful man in that room. In his ambivalence to his own suffering, monetary gain, or the psychological ego boost of being feared, he was free. Not free in the way that Americans consider themselves “free,” but truly, wholly free.

And so are we.

We are free and more powerful than any thing because we have the one thing. The one thing that can’t be negotiated away, taken or lost without our deliberate effort. That is the grace, forgiveness and eternity of a risen king. While our social mountains erupt, our financial mountains fall and even our relationships are ripped to shreds – we have eternity.

To really wrap your head around that is magical and liberating. No matter the situation, no matter the exception, there is nothing to threaten us with, nothing for this world to do with all its strength. I pause when those words roll through my head and notice that my chest heaves a deeper kind of breath. The One Thing. King. Yahweh.

My favorite hymn was writ­ten by Horacio Spafford af­ter two ma­jor trau­mas in life. First, as a wealthy businessman in Chicago, the great fire of Oc­to­ber 1871 ru­ined him fi­nan­cial­ly. Short­ly af­ter, all four of Spaf­ford’s daugh­ters died in a col­li­sion with an­o­ther ship while crossing the Atlantic. Spaf­ford’s wife Anna sur­vived and sent him the now fa­mous tel­e­gram, “Saved alone.” Sev­er­al weeks lat­er, as Spaf­ford’s own ship passed near the spot where his daugh­ters died, he was in­spired to write these words:

When peace, like a river, attendeth my way,
When sorrows like sea billows roll;
Whatever my lot, Thou has taught me to say,
It is well, it is well, with my soul.

How could a man who lost every thing in his world write “it is well with my soul?” How could he laugh hysterically at the one beating him relentlessly? Was he as mentally unstable as the Joker? No. He just knew that he had every thing and could lose no thing that really mattered because he had eternity.

And that is why I too smile.

So I bet some folks are going to be surprised about who makes it to the other side.

In the heaven I’m headed to, there’s a place for preachers, thieves and prostitutes – beggers, soldiers, rebels, kings and renegades, for any soul that ever found amazing grace.

There’s no telling who on earth He might include, in the the heaven I’m headed to.”

Brilliant words by a modern-day poet, Dierks Bentley.

As a parent I know that nothing – No Thing – could ever separate my love from my children, except them. Were either of my kids to grow to a place of disdain or indifference with me and force the severing of the bond, then there would be nothing that I could do – for I can’t make them love me.

These feelings are echoes of His thinking, remnants of his dilemma. I am in Him and He is in me. So when I come to these conclusions – through no work on my part but the revelation of His grace and mind – I  am reminded of His unending, unconditional love. When He walked, and died, amongst us he made it clear that all sins were forgiven. All.

The only thing that his rules forebode was the forcing of any of our hands, thus if we choose to exile Him – shun Him – it is the one time that He has no choice; He honors our requests for eternal separation. That, my friends, is Hell.

What I have come to peace with, hopefully with His divine guidance, is that we all go to the heaven I’m headed to:

Muslim, Jew, Gay, Dumb, Blonde, Pedophile, Homophobe, Limbaugh, Hannity, yes, even W.  Buddhist, Gymnast, Red Fish, Blue Fish.

There’s no telling who on earth he might include.

I get lost in the  stories that each of these people must have. At the very moment that I am looking at them are they going through a soul wrenching crisis? Is he just about to ask her to marry him even though he is sure she’ll say no? Is she one stroke of genius away from solving the spiritual and mathematical equation in her head that will bring all questions in from the fog in to the calm stillness of knowing?

I can really get lost trying to get my head around the enormity of the lives on this planet; all the places gone, deeds done, shame earned, love realized, days numbered, pictures taken, smiles broken, hearts in flight. Then I wonder – somewhat arrogantly I suppose – if I am alone in trying to grasp the scope of our story in it’s entirety, not the dogmatic or fanatical belief systems that we subscribe to but the bigger picture; the picture that isn’t concerned with sociological, religious and even spiritual rules. The picture that lacks no color, no many, no one.

What a picture that is, what a story it is.

His latest book, Crazy for God: How I Grew Up as One of the Elect, Helped Found the Religious Right, and Lived to Take All (or Almost All) of It Back, discusses in very honest terms how they sparked and fueled the fire around these issues. The interview is enlightening and I look forward to the book.

Interesting in the interview is his acknowledgement of how when he and his father used much more fiery rhetoric around the abortion issue than did Rev. Jeremiah Wright did about issues on the left, he and his father were invited to the White House for private time with President Reagan. Meanwhile, Rev. Wright has been demonized and Obama nearly lost just because he listened to the man.

Incidentally, if you actually listen to Rev. Wright and then read some real history, A People’s History of the United States by Howard Zinn, you’ll see that Rev. Wright makes some spot-on observations.

The reason most people balk at his words is because these days you aren’t supposed to criticize your government or call into questions such long held ideals but those are the exact principles that this country was founded with and Martin Luther, Martin Luther King, and Ghandi all used in their movements.

We need to stop being sheep for surely the slaughter awaits…

The NPR Interview

Crazy For God on Amazon.com

postscipt

While I think that the issue of abortion is an immensely important one, I find it ironic that evangelicals as a whole spend so much effort on the issue of the unborn and so little to help the living that are being massacred in genocide after genocide: Sierra Leone, Rwanda, Darfur, the Congo, etc.

IMHO

You see, I am quickly turning into everything that I never wanted to be i.e., couch potato, lazy father, constant procrastinator, etc.

I used to exercise, write and use my brain a whole lot more. Now while I still ponder difficult things most of the time the rest of this has got to improve.

It all starts with writing.

I have not written because 1) I feared it would interfere with my job and 2) because putting my thoughts in the public eye (again) seems arrogant and presumptuous.

As for the job, I am secure that I can do this without interfering and as for arrogance, I have realized that I have something worthwhile to say and I need to say it. I know that what I have is worth saying too. If that is arrogance then so be it.

So here’s to getting out of a rut.

I can’t wait to write about it but the time isn’t right yet.